Tentative trip itinerary and ideas

courtesy of my hovely lusband:

;~! **(see key at end) Friday October 10th - Aspen to Albuquerque via Ghost Ranch, 450 miles, 8 hrs=all day. Spend the night in Albuquerque at Aunt Pat's.

%^) Be responsible mature adults. Talk about Ghost Ranch and watch with amazement when Steve absconds with the conversation and talks at length about Los Alamos and how he really wants to go there ... some day. Ask Aunt Pat inappropriate questions about Albuquerque's chronic ethnic strife and gang problems. Suggest that nobody in their right mind would live there. Thank her for her hospitality.

;~! --Saturday October 11th - Albuquerque to Albuquerque, zero miles or 22,000. 0 hrs/all day. Balloon Fiesta, Route 66 in Albuquerque, Knob Hill. Spend the night in Albuquerque at Aunt Pat's.

%^) Continue being responsible mature adults knowing that tomorrow we camp with the wolves. Talk about New Mexico's endemic litter problem and how it's the state with the highest incidents of drunk driver fatalities in the nation. Offer to drive to the liquor store, or go get drunk out of town at a place called The Roadhouse. Thank her for her hospitality.

;~! Sunday October 12th - Albuquerque to Wolf Sanctuary, 125 miles, 2 hrs/all day. Possibilities, Steve/Bridget? ride part or parts of Highway 53, Acoma Pueblo, El Malpias Nt. Mon. (Inscription Rock, Lava Tubes) Bandera Crater and Ice Caves, El Morro Nt. Mon, camp at Wolf Sanctuary, contemplate taking the 2 hour $100 photography tour, although it may already be too late as it said in the website to make reservations two weeks in advance. Moon is almost full. (no reservations)

%^) Buy lots of perishable road food. Forget to eat it. Listen to Steve regret that we went to the Bandera Crater and Ice Caves instead of El Morro. Or that we took the stupid tourist rip-off tour of Acoma instead of being brave and finding the old trail and hiking to the top of the mesa. Think it's really cool at first, then get annoyed at the howling wolves. Eventually get scared when the wolves suddenly stop howling. Consider breaking camp and driving the fuck away from here, showing up at Aunt Pat's unannounced at three a.m. Thank her for her hospitality. If she isn't home, leave a really sarcastic note thanking her for her hospitality. Create scoreboard to keep track of Steve's good choices and bad.

;~! Monday October 13th - Wolf Sanctuary to Hopi Cultural Center, 160 miles, 2-3 hrs/all day. Possibilities, find a KOA and take showers in Gallup, Steve/Bridget? ride part or parts of this drive, Zuni Pueblo, Route 66 in Gallop, Window Rock (capital of Navajo Nation), Kinlichee Ruins Tribal Park, Hubbell Trading Post, Hopi Indian Reservation, moon is almost full, hotel or camp at Hopi Cultural Center on Second Mesa. (no reservations)

%^) Forget about rotting perishables in cooler, forget to get ice, motor off into the heat of the day in the desert. Call Aunt Pat to tell her you just read about that horrible murder that happened in Albuquerque while we were visiting, assure her we will never visit her again, thank her for her hospitality. Watch Steve throw a public tantrum as he tries to remember how to pitch the tent. Listen to him swear when he tries to set it up in the October wind on top of a fucking MESA in the desert, hello! Freeze to almost death, finally get out of the tent to check availability at the hotel right next door, see that the sign reads vacancy, find nobody in the office, ring the shit out of the bell to keep warm, go back to tent, find Steve's scoreboard and mark it up furiously. Seriously consider driving all the way back to the Zuni Rez. or Aunt Pat's.

;~! Tuesday October 14th - Hopi Cultural Center to North Rim, 216 miles, 4 hrs/all day. Possibilities, Steve/Bridget? ride part or parts of this drive, Old Oraibi on Third Mesa, Marble Canyon, Dominguez Escalante Interpretive Site, official full moon! Cabin on North Rim.

%^) Listen as Steve explains to the Hopi that cameras don't really steal your souls. Watch him demonstrate by sticking his camera in some children's faces and then asking them, "What are you, stupid? Smile!" Watch him mountain bike off the Mesa thinking he knows exactly where he's going. Watch drunk Hopis pile in an old truck and speed off in the same direction, honking the horn and cursing. Wonder if Steve is wearing his hearing aid. Hope to see him again real soon, maybe.

;~! -- Wednesday October 15th - North Rim to North Rim, zero miles or 22,000. 0hrs/all day. Possibilities, everything around North Rim, Steve does the 18 mile one way or 36 mile round trip mountain bike ride on rim, move to new accommodation, unofficial full moon! Cabin on North Rim.

%^) Listen to Steve berate himself for not getting on his bike till one in the afternoon. Be glad it was a full moon becuase of course he didn't take his headlamp to go ride around on the frickin' EDGE of the Grand Canyon. Be amazed that once again he survived one of his frequent self induced epics. Be pissed that he missed the dinner reservation and don't laugh when he tries to make some lame ass joke about reservations on the reservation. Go to bed when he tries to talk you into having a glass of wine on the balcony now that it's forty degrees.

;~! ** Thursday October 16th - Option A. North Rim to Phoenix, 350 miles, 5-7 hrs/all day. possibilities, drive straight through, or, Little Colorado River Gorge Tribal Park, Loop drive off Highway 89 (or bike it, fifteen to twenty miles) visiting Wupatki Nt. Mon. Painted Desert Vista and Sunset Crater Volcano Nt. Mon. along the way. Montezuma Well, Montezuma Castle Nt. Mon. Arcosanti. Moon almost not full, probably won't see it in Phoenix anyway. Spend night in Phoenix with Phil and Jill.

%^) Get fucking shit faced, find McCain rally, get arrested.

;~! ** Thursday October 16th - Option B. North Rim to Prescott, 300 miles. 5-6 hrs/all day. possibilities, everything up to and including Sunset Crater. Oak Creek Canyon, Sedona, Jerome, Prescott College. Moon almost not full, might see it around Prescott. Spend night in Prescott with Lila.

%^) Go to Jerome with Lila. When it's obvious she loves Jerome, start telling her how it used to be so much cooler back when I visited it for two hours thirty years ago. Waste hours looking for some place you think you vaguely remember was in Jerome but can't remember the name. Eventually casually say, "You know, it might have been in Butte." Continually remind Lila that Bisbee is way cooler than Jerome ever was. Thank her for her hospitality. Tell her that we might stay with her again on our way back through next week but she'll have to do something about her cat. Smoke pot, Find Obama rally, be mellow.

;~! Friday October 17th - *Singing Wind Bookstore* 2 miles north of Benson, I-10 exit 304 @ Ocotillo Road,

Option A. Phoenix to Bisbee, via I-10 195 miles, 3 hrs/all day. Possibilities, drive straight through, Tucson, Tombstone. B&B in Bisbee in Brewery Gulch.

%^) Be hung over, get out of jail, read about ourselves in police blotter, cut and save article, lose it among all the other printed crap we pick up along the way, represent our party well.

;~! Option A1. Phoenix to Bisbee via highway 79 206 miles, 4 hrs/all day. This route is more rural and scenic. Possibilities, Cactus Forest, multiple picnic areas, Biosphere 2, Santa Catalina Mountains to Saguaro Nt.Pk. (ride Saguaro Nt. Pk. loop). B$B in Bisbee in Brewery Gulch.

%^) Be hung over, get out of jail, read about ourselves in police blotter, cut and save article, lose it among all the other printed crap we pick up along the way, represent our party well.

;~! ** (Option B. Prescott to Bisbee, 292 miles, 5 hrs/all day. Arcosanti plus all sites on highway 79 or take I-10 from Phoenix to Bisbee. B&B in Bisbee in Brewery Gulch.

%^) Don't go back up to Jerome for breakfast, Tell Lila that you're sick of these hippie towns and we're going to Arcosanti. Remind her that we might stay with her next week for 'a few days' and please do something about the cat. Thank her for her hospitality.

;~! -- Saturday October 18th - Bisbee to Bisbee, zero miles or 22,000 or who knows, this is Bisbee. Bisbee Stairclimb 1000, Iceman. B&B in Bisbee in Brewery Gulch.

%^) Watch Steve get mad immediately after not winning the Bisbee Staircase 1000. Listen to him yammer on about how his training regiment consisted of not going to Hawaii for three months. Suffer his relentless attempts at verbally trying to figure out the story about Nicholas De Vore. Give him some perfectly resonable ultimatum and watch him storm off up Brewery Gulch to go make friends with that guy that runs the thrift shop. Wonder how you ever got here.

;~! Sunday October 19th - *Singing Wind Bookstore* 2 miles north of Benson, I-10exit 304 @ Ocitillo Road,

%^) Recap the first week. Add up the scorecard. Get in a fight with Steve when he insists that, no that one was a good day, not a bad one. Make him agree to a few promises. Finally scream at him, "You know what? Nicholas De Vore is dead, okay. Maybe you should find some different heroes." Feel bad after the interminable silence. Fall for his, I-love-you-so-much-puppy-eyes again. 'Cause, ya' know, he really does.(#)

Monday October 20th - find internet access so Bridget can do payroll.

#&%^@!*+ That's it, next week's possibilities are wide open. We have Sunday October 19Th to Sunday October 26th (eight days) to get home. See page 262 in Fodors Arizona and page 195 in National Geographic Traveler Arizona. If we didn't get there on the way down, we could go to Prescott and Jerome etc. We could go into New Mexico, Steins and Shakespeare Ghost Towns, Silver City, Fehee? Buckhorn Saloon, Gila Cliff Dwellings Nt. Mon., Wildwood Retreat (camping, cabins, hot springs, showers, $10 a night) Albuquerque, Chaco Canyon, Shiprock, Santa Fe, Taos, Los Alamos. But . . . even if we do get lost and end up near the edge of the Deathly Hot Plain, I refuse to go to Roswell. Agreed? We never did make a print of that picture of us at the Hagerman sign for your Dad. Isn't that the whole reason we went there? That's cool, the whole reason I came to Colorado was to make money so I could fix up the Nova.

**** General things to keep on my radar, Remember, she's your wife, not your battle ground state. I love you, you are my wife and best friend, as the bumper sticker that follows us around says, Just Be Nice. Maybe I should get a t-shirt made. Variety. Humor! Flexibility. Take notes and write every day, even if it's to say I can't think of anything to write about. Keep a journal. Think outside the box. The Titan Missile Museum south of Tucson sounds cool, you go down into the silo with the missile. Get to wear a hard hat too! National Historic Parks like Tumacacori, mine tours, Mexico, book stores, coffee shops, hot springs, Tribal parks, wilderness areas, wildlife preserves, observatories, Kitt Peak Nt. Observatory does day and evening tours, Culture, as in I think we might like Tucson, Get your 'Kitch' on Route 66, (I just made that up) striking up conversations, meeting locals, Arizona Highway photography contest, junkyards, abandoned America, architecture, special events, festivals, bike rides, rivers, water in general is a good subject in the desert. Romance, photography, literature. colleges, just be nice.

!! We should try to get some form of physical exercise every day, especially those longer road days. As Ed Abbey would say, Get out of the car!!

This was an awesome exercise, beats the hell out of actually getting ready for the trip! Remember, I'm usually in Hawaii at this time of day.

#I love You, see? I remembered.

Key:
;~! denotes, seriousity.

%^) denotes, something else entirely.

!! denotes, importante.

**** denotes, mas mucho el super importante.

# denotes, simpe elegant truth.

**denotes, Long drive days. First day is the longest and we only have two days of 300 or more miles. Thursday is a long drive day and Friday could be or not depending on what we choose.

-- denotes, 'Layover' days.

#$%^@*!+ denotes, Who the hell knows what'll happen next.