Ignorance is bliss?

100% blade-free Lasik experience.

And what an experience . . .

I get queasy easily, especially when dealing with medical injuries, procedures and descriptions. The irony is that I work in the medical profession. The truth is that if the above weren't true, I'd be a clinician, not an administrator.

Given my queasiness aptitude, I purposefully opted to remain ignorant about what Lasik entailed. As I said to one of my doctor friends, "What can you tell me about Lasik while telling me nothing about Lasik?"

Her response, which was perfect, was, "You'll love it!"

She meant the result, not the procedure.

The best thing I can say about the procedure is that it didn't take long. A few minutes. At most.

I really didn't like the procedure. Thank god, they gave me Valium. Thank god, it also occurred to me to engage in what I can only describe as meditation breathing techniques to keep myself calm.

Not that I know any meditation breathing techniques.

I basically passed out when the erroneous thought crossed my mind that I might have to go back under one of the lasers. This lead to me being quickly placed on a Lazy Boy with an oxygen cannula affixed to my face.

So inconvenient for the surgeon who already had his next patient waiting. Quite the assembly line.

There was also a moment pre-procedure when it looked like I was going to be denied. The surgeon's office also does a corneal thickness test and mine was wacky. It showed my thinnest spot in a place where no one's thinnest spot is. If this had been a year ago, they would have turned me away but now, they have a newer machine so they did another scan on it and it contradicted the first machine's result. We were good to go.

Now, if you're considering this procedure, don't let my negativity above dissuade you. There was never any pain, simply discomfort. It didn't hurt. Ever. Not during or after. The first laser necessitated a suction thingy which served the purpose of keeping my eyes open. That involved a fair amount of pressure. Both lasers are placed against the face so there's a small amount of claustrophobia.

During the first part of the procedure, the surgeon remarked on the death grip I had on the gurney railing.

Some patients have repeat procedures done for enhancement purposes. Not sure I could go there. If I was faced with that situation, I might just have to live with less than optimal results. I'm really not sure.

And yet, with all of that being said, I am glad that I did it. I am quite pleased with the results. My vision is now basically 20/15. I can see without vision aids for the first time since 1969.

It's pretty damn cool.