My new car - Not

I had been playing with the idea of replacing my 12 year old car . . .

until I got Rachel's financial aid award letter from Columbia College Chicago which informed me that I've been awarded the opportunity to purchase the equivalent of a new car every year for the next 4 years.

But, hey, at least the interest rate on the college loans is fixed at the low rate of 7.9%.

For a new car, I'd only have to pay, what, 0% interest?