I'm a big one for personal responsibility. I don't have much patience for those who like to blame others for their shortcomings and bad decisions.
So, it's taken me a while to get here.
For years now, Rachel and I have been struggling with the fact that she has a very hard time getting her assignments in. This fact has caused much angst, conflict and tension in our home.
We have appealed to the teachers for help. Every year I start the school year by letting her teachers know about our struggles and asking for their assistance. I can't police her homework if I don't know what her assignments are or if I don't find out until weeks later that assignments are missing.
Over the past few years, her school has become more and more internet interactive. We can now check grades and homework assignments online. Of course, it's totally dependent upon the teachers taking the time to upload the information but it's a step in the right direction.
Even so, Rachel still struggles. It's so different from my experience at her age. She's bright and intelligent like I was but not as organized and much more distractable. Try as I might (and believe me, I've tried), I don't know how to help her.
I've given it a lot of thought, for quite a while. But it wasn't until the other evening, when my parents and I were rehashing it all, that a little light bulb went off.
When I was in grammar school, if a student didn't turn his/her homework in, the teacher called him/her out in front of the whole class. The teacher went around the room, collecting homework and everyone in class knew who hadn't done theirs. The teacher would stop and question the student right then and there.
Public shaming.
The anxiety about being publicly shamed was a huge motivator.
Immediate consequences for negative behavior. Not bad grades at the end of the semester. Not difficulty getting into college years later. Immediate public shaming.
My parents said, yep, it was the same for them in the 50s. Pursuing my hypothesis, I asked a bunch of friends last night. Yep, all seven of them, ranging 20 years in age, said it was the same for them.
But not for Rachel. Not here in Aspen. Didn't do your homework? No worries. That's just between you and your teacher. No one needs to know.
Yep, I blame the teachers.
So, it's taken me a while to get here.
For years now, Rachel and I have been struggling with the fact that she has a very hard time getting her assignments in. This fact has caused much angst, conflict and tension in our home.
We have appealed to the teachers for help. Every year I start the school year by letting her teachers know about our struggles and asking for their assistance. I can't police her homework if I don't know what her assignments are or if I don't find out until weeks later that assignments are missing.
Over the past few years, her school has become more and more internet interactive. We can now check grades and homework assignments online. Of course, it's totally dependent upon the teachers taking the time to upload the information but it's a step in the right direction.
Even so, Rachel still struggles. It's so different from my experience at her age. She's bright and intelligent like I was but not as organized and much more distractable. Try as I might (and believe me, I've tried), I don't know how to help her.
I've given it a lot of thought, for quite a while. But it wasn't until the other evening, when my parents and I were rehashing it all, that a little light bulb went off.
When I was in grammar school, if a student didn't turn his/her homework in, the teacher called him/her out in front of the whole class. The teacher went around the room, collecting homework and everyone in class knew who hadn't done theirs. The teacher would stop and question the student right then and there.
Public shaming.
The anxiety about being publicly shamed was a huge motivator.
Immediate consequences for negative behavior. Not bad grades at the end of the semester. Not difficulty getting into college years later. Immediate public shaming.
My parents said, yep, it was the same for them in the 50s. Pursuing my hypothesis, I asked a bunch of friends last night. Yep, all seven of them, ranging 20 years in age, said it was the same for them.
But not for Rachel. Not here in Aspen. Didn't do your homework? No worries. That's just between you and your teacher. No one needs to know.
Yep, I blame the teachers.
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