I'm in so much trouble

See that number next to the "Number of applications in the lottery," 2275? My application is one of them.

According to the decision Steve and I made on Sunday, my application wasn't supposed to be one of them.

Oh boy.

The National Park Service is running the lottery for 2008 permits to run the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon this week. Steve and I have been on the waitlist since January 2002. Recently the National Park Service implemented a multi-phase transition from the waitlist to an annual lottery. In doing so, they gave wait-listers extra chances in the lottery.

At this point, Steve and I have 7 chances each in the lottery or 12 combined chances. Yes, I know the math isn't right but hey, we're dealing with a government agency here.

We've been talking about taking Rachel on a trip and I was looking into dates for next summer.

But, Steve has a bit of a love/hate relationship with white water river rafting. It's very stressful for him, being responsible for piloting a raft safely through dangerous hazards and being responsible for the safety of those aboard his raft. It's much easier for me since I'm basically just a passenger (although I do have to put up with Steve when he's being StressMan).

In addition, a friend and his daughter (who is the same age as Rachel) who were going to be invited if we got a permit can't take a Grand trip next summer.

So, after much discussion this weekend, Steve and I decided to just let the lottery deadline pass without finalizing our application and to consider trying for a 2009 permit. I had some regrets on Monday but, oh well, too late.

Or was it?

Today, I got the following email from Steve Sullivan at the River Office:

As we prepare to run the 2008 Grand Canyon river lottery, we have noticed that you have an outstanding hold on your application that will prevent it from being considered in the lottery. According to our records, you have not paid for your application.

We understand that this may be because you have changed your mind and do not want your application considered in the lottery. If this is the case, it would help us focus our attention on those who need our assistance if you would do the following. Login to the lottery site at https://npspermits.us, click on "View Application", then click on "Cancel Application". You do not need to do anything further.

On the other hand, you may want to pay and have your application considered in the lottery. Though the lottery closed on Monday, we have extended the pay option for you through 5pm today (Wednesday, 5/30/07). To pay, login to the https://npspermits.us site and click on the "Pay Now through pay.gov" link. Note: this link will not be available after today, so please act quickly.

Next thing I knew, Rachel (who was sitting next to me when I got the above email) was twisting my arm and forcing me to submit my application.

I spent the next five minutes sitting with my head in my hands, alternating between moaning "I'm in so much trouble" and "I hope we don't win."

I still have to tell Steve . . .