Errrr . . .

Today's drama involves an 8 am scheduled departure to Mexico tomorrow, an expired passport, the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative and much contradictory information on various and multitudinous websites.

First off, 10 years is a remarkably long time to try to keep track of an expiration date. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating for more frequent renewals but I'd love to see some statistics on just how many people miss their passport expiration/renewal date.

In a tangibly staged process, we first decided that the course most likely to be successful was the one where the expired passport holder shows up at the airport, feigns ignorance and surprise and, after some minimal hassle, is allowed to proceed.

Weighing in favor of this approach was the argument that entry to Mexico only requires proof of citizenship and proof of identity coupled with a US State Department website statement that an expired passport is in fact proof of citizenship. In addition, the State Department website's FAQs regarding the passport requirement explicitly states that, upon return, should a traveler not have a valid passport, s/he would simply be subject to secondary screening.

Mitigating against this approach were United Airlines' hard line approach that a valid passport is required to leave the country, not just to re-enter and the $3300 fine an airline must pay if it does not comply with the WHTI.

So on to stage 2 of our problem-solving attempt wherein we try to take advantage of the fact that a valid passport is not yet required for overland border crossings. After spending much time researching a bus to Glenwood Springs to a bus to Denver to a flight to Phoenix to a bus to Nogales to a bus to Hermosillo to a flight to Puerto Vallarta to a bus to Sayulita, we get shut down by some schmo in the Mexican Consulate in Tucson who says that, no, in fact, an expired passport will not suffice as proof of citizenship.

Next stop, stage 3. In stage 3, we discover, a half hour after FedEx closes for the day, that there are businesses out there to which we can overnight the expired passport, pay beaucoup bucks for an super expedited rush turnaround and possibly get a renewed passport in time for the rebooked departure a week from tomorrow.

Of course, it's too late to call any of these businesses this evening but guess who will be on the phone at 7 am tomorrow?

Will there be a stage 4? Will the expedited passport business deign to expedite our passport? Will we be re-rebooking? Tune in tomorrow, same bat time, same bat channel.